is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
are you so shy because you have an std?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You've changed since you got that strap on
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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