Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
