So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just pee around me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
