my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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