My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
