Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
