I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
