So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
