i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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