Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
