I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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