He is an equal opportunity slut.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
