So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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