Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
