I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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