Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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