He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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