im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
