I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize