it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
