i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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