She said her name was "party"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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