Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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