Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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