Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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