how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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