so explain again why im purple
no
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
