There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Randomize
