Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
