and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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