you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
