I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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