operation harelip BJ is a go
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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