If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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