Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
