fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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