youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
