i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize