If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
