I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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