Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
