Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love you. Go after that dick
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