There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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