every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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