So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
