I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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