sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
