you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
