Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize