And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There's even glitter on my cock...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
