Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am available for nakedness
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
