I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
