It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Are we still banned from the library?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
