Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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