Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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