I puked a lego.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
