but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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