is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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