chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
