My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
