I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
