I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize