You can't special order awesome
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
