So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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