I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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