Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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