Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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