you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
