OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
