I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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