Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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