So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize