I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
