i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
